More Reasons

I want to reach out to Him so badly today. Most days I do try to avoid things that I know will make me think of Him, and then sometimes, when I know he'll be on my mind anyways, I'll indulge. On the way home from the concert last night I finally decided to listen to "The Dark Side of the Moon" start to finish and holy shit. Like I already knew they were talented af and can play, but this was so much more than that with the curation of the songs and the sampling of real life sounds.  There's not too many albums out there that almost feel like one song, but that's how this felt to me, and I unknowingly had it on repeat, so the very first song started to play again and I think that's what really hit me. The album ends the way it starts, with a heart beat, just like fucking life starts with your parents listening to your heartbeat and then it possibly ends surrounded by loved ones watching that monitor for the last beat...And then the first song is just a mess of sounds that actually foreshadow every other song on the album.

Honestly my overall take away is that it's this critique on life in general, and even though it was released in the 70s it's still so fucking relevant. His latest tattoo is a modified version of the cover, which I love even more now after listening to the whole thing. That whole idea that all the colors are all a part of the white light and if you just change the angle of the reflection, ya know just change your perspective, you can see them all. Just feels like they were trying to say yea we may all be in this rat race with all these stupid expectations, and the false god of money, but if you take the time to actually look around you'll see how much more there is to the lives we've been given. It's really hard to pick a favorite song from the album in all honesty, cuz they all just kinda feed off of each other, and I've only listened the once through... but I think maybe it'd be Any Colour You Like. I never did ask Him what the tattoo meant to him... I guess it felt wrong to ask before I'd listened to the album, but also maybe I didn't want more reasons to love him...one of the feeds I follow is about space and celestial events and it notified me yesterday that his birthday this year coincides with a super blood moon which is apparently rare. Basically at 12:12am on the 21st the lunar eclipse will be at its maximum and it's happening during a full moon. Somehow it feels fitting that's how the first day of His next trip around the sun will start. The phrase, the dark side of the moon is actually slightly incorrect, cuz it's not like the moon doesn't spin, all of its "sides" receive sunlight eventually, but it's just perfectly timed with the orbit of Earth that we can never see the "far side" from Earth. It just appears to always be dark because of our limited perspective and I want to believe Pink Floyd knew that.

I finally did have that date with that Woman this past Wednesday, and it was amazing, I haven't felt that carefree in a very long time, I can't wait to see her again. She's got this husky voice that's so sexy, and she's just bursting with life and sexuality. It was a strange experience to feel like the persuer and also so innocent and out of my element. I tactfully got her up to my apartment with a call back to our convo earlier in the day about how if it was too forward of me to ask her to meet my pussy when I possibly want to touch her pussy LOL. After about twenty minutes of being on the floor with the cat she asked to use the restroom and when she came out I was kinda pacing in the middle of my main room and she asks how I'm feeling and I'm like I feel really nervous which makes her laugh and she sits on the ottoman and tells me to sit. So I'm sitting cross-legged on the floor and she asks me what I think and I immediately say I think you're so beautiful, which landed well, and I follow it up with but I don't know what's next. She says well I would like to kiss you, and I say I would like that very much, to which she replies well you've been the persuer so far as she inches herself off the ottoman and towards me on the floor and I'm moving closer as well. And then our lips finally touch and it quickly goes from a kiss to a full makeout session on my floor with me straddling her and putting her hands above her head with some good ole fashioned grinding.

So I can finally say I've kissed a lady, and I did really enjoy the experience, but still feel unsure if I'm sexually attracted to women, or I'm just so intrigued by her and her life. She was telling me all sorts of crazy stuff about BDSM and threesomes, and sex parties. I have a feeling knowing her is gonna crack me wide open. We have another date set for the end of the month, two busy ladies trying to make plans is real fucking difficult haha. Welp I gotta get my butt on the road, I have a blind date tonight that a dear high school friend set up for me... I'm anxious and nervous and can't help but think about how my mother married both of the only blind dates she has been on...